LISTEN. LOCK. LOVE.

Kids are spending more and more time on devices, video games, and the internet. What was once a privilege is now almost a necessity for our kids to keep up with school work and friends. Many parents have shared with us the difficulties of helping their kids to navigate the never-ending video calls and the potential risks of stumbling upon inappropriate content. In an effort to come alongside our families, we have created three simple steps to help you guide your kids well through one of life’s more difficult obstacles, explicit content.

LISTEN - Learning that your kid has been exposed to or is frequently seeking out explicit content can be a shocker for most. “My kid would never..” “Trust me, my daughter would tell me if they were doing something like that” These are often the sentiments of parents who are blindsided by what their kid is looking at. Unfortunately, the average age of exposure for kids to pornographic content is not getting older. So how do we make sure we stay in touch with what is happening in our kids world?

Listen. Listen for the things that are most important to them. Ask follow up questions to the things they often talk about. Our interest in their world creates a foundation of trust for future tough conversations. 

 Regardless of the conversational trust built between you and your kid, don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions: “have you seen anything inappropriate on your phone?” “is sex something you and your friends talk about?” These questions can suck the air right out of the room, but they provide the opportunity to have conversations that could protect your kids for years to come. You might be surprised to hear what your kid shares with you. Make sure to be quick to listen.

 From these conversations, let your kid know that, out of a desire to protect them, you will be adding some boundaries on their devices to protect them from seeing harmful images. Assure them that this is not a punishment, but rather a display of your love and care for them.

LOCK - Once you’ve heard from your child where they saw inappropriate content and why they were looking at it, it’s time to remove that avenue toward temptation and put the proper boundaries on their devices. 

Choose the following options that apply to you:

• Finding Search History on Devices and Social Media

• Parental Controls on iPhone and iPad

• Parental Controls on Mac

• Parental Controls on Android Phones and Tablets

• Parental Controls on PC

If you’re interested in purchasing accountability software, we recommend looking at Ever Accountable or Covenant Eyes. 

*If you are curious about whether or not your kid is for sure looking at explict content a few places to look include their search history in their internet app, text messages, search history on social media and any apps you’re unfamiliar with.

LOVE - Through every step of these important parenting moments, be sure to display a heart of compassion and love. There is always the risk to temporarily dampen your relationship with your child with the way we approach these delicate conversations, so be sure to walk gently and lovingly through them. 

It is crucial to frequently praise the good we see in them and to shower them with the attention and affection they desire before and after we have these kinds of conversations. But don’t just tell them you love them, show them by being intentional during this time. Bring home their favorite food or let them choose a movie to watch as a family. Whatever you do, you can never go wrong with going above and beyond to love your kid.